08 junho 2005

The Greatest Albums Ever Suck

Divertidíssimo. Descobri hoje o SomethingAwful. E finalmente alguém que concorda comigo quando o assunto é listinha dos melhores álbuns de rock&roll. Dr David Thorpe tratou de destronar uns mitos. Tipo 'tabefe na cara' de publicações como RollingStone, NME, VH1 e outras.

Finalmente alguém colocou "Nevermind" em seu devido lugar. Saca só:

If I hear another shuffly-haired VH1 twerp pundit smirk out a sardonic little nip of garlic about how Nirvana saved us from hair metal, I’m going to swear off of bad pop-culture-based cable programming forever. Nirvana didn’t save us from shit. They just happened to wander across the teetering fulcrum of shitty eighties music and tip it towards shitty nineties music. I’m no hair metal apologist, but do you think I’m going to thank Cobain for popularizing the humorless angst-sludge that we’re still trying to get rid of today? No way. Grunge basically turned into its own form of hair-metal eventually by way of Creed and Nickelback. Am I blaming Kurt Cobain for stuff that went down way after his death? Yeah, I pretty much am. His suicide made him a martyr, and now we’ll never be rid of him, and he’s galvanized hordes of young longhairs to clench their teeth and make some really serious shit. Also, “Smells Like Teen Spirit” was and still is a major bore. I’d take Skid Row any day. At least “I’ll Remember You” moved around a little.

E pra punkaria tupiniquim que adora fazer listinhas na bizz, playboy e outras fucking-shit-abril-like-mags que tal uma detonada no Sex Pistols:

I can’t believe a record known only for its trumped-up social relevance could place so highly on every list. I wasn’t around in 1977, so I can’t pretend to know how magical it felt when a bunch of ugly, dirty guys got on a boat and made fun of The Queen. I’m sure it must have been fantastic, but that doesn’t mean there’s any reason to listen to this piece of garbage ever again. For all the hoopla about how it gave birth to punk, it sure sounds a lot like nothing more than a poorly-played hard rock album by a bunch of degenerates being held up like puppets by an effete asshole dandy. They turned punk into a joke, a farce, and a transparent marketing ploy before it even had a leg to stand on. The fucking Ramones had twice the chops, and they were too dumb to be eligible for drivers’ licenses and they had to wear special shoes so they wouldn’t fall down. True.

Bom. O cara detonou "Joshua Tree" tb. Ninguém é perfeito...

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